1. OVERVIEW: THE PRINCIPLE OF FORWARD MOMENTUM The House of Jean Érique™ operates on the principle of Forward Momentum. One does not un-lay a foundation. To return an item is to admit a lack of assiduity. It is an interruption of the Flow.
Therefore, our policy is simple:
We do not accept returns based on “regret,” a lack of taste for the finer things in life, or any biological incompatibility with one’s body size or shape.
However, strictly in the event of Structural Failure (manufacturing defects), we acknowledge a window of 30 days from the date of the deposit on your doorstep (Le Dépôt). If 30 days have passed since your acquisition, the Object has become a permanent part of your reality.
2. THE “FIT” FALLACY (SIZE EXCHANGES) We do not offer exchanges for size.
- The Fact: Our Objects are created according to precise Jean Érique™ Industrial Dimensions. If the garment does not fit, it is because your biological reality has not yet aligned with the dimensions of the Opulence.
- The Remedy: Do not adjust the Order; adjust your biology. Or, display the assiduity of selling or gifting such an opulent objet to a smaller or larger subordinate.
3. DEFECTIVE ARCHITECTURE (DAMAGED GOODS) In the rare event that our parasitic manufacturing partners have failed to uphold the standards of the Continuum (e.g., misprints, torn fabric, shattered ceramic), we will authorize a Rectification.
To petition for a replacement:
- Do not send the item back. We do not desire the reception of Jean Érique™ objects which have been reduced to debris by careless hands.
- Send photographic evidence of the Structural Failure to our Tribunal at tribunal@jeanerique.com.
- Upon review, if the defect is proven, a new replacement objet will be dispatched to your coordinates immediately.
4. EXEMPT MATTER (NON-RETURNABLE ITEMS) Certain categories of substance are chemically or philosophically impossible to return to the Source:
- L’Effluve™ (Perfume/Liquids): This fragrance represents the rarest of biological signals. When the seal is broken, the spirit of the contents is released and cannot be re-canted. Despite the fact that the cost of purchase may be prohibitive or even costly for some, the buyer must understand that L’Effluve™ cannot be returned. Be sure you understand that all sales are final before you purchase.
- L’Héraut™ (The Fly): This object is produced upon a system of custom, registered allocation. All sales, when processed, are absolutely final. You must allow six months for the delivery of such a rare and desirable objet.
- Gift Cards: Jean Érique™ does not trade in such abstract currency which possesses no mass to return or to stockpile.
5. THE PARASITIC BRANDING CLAUSE You may observe the markings or labels of industrial manufacturing entities on your Object. These are not defects. These are Parasitic Organisms which desire to feed upon our opulence. The presence of a third-party base layer is proof of the Industrial Materiality. Returns based on the origin of any raw material will be denied with prejudice.
6. REFUNDS (THE REJECTION) Refunds are granted only in the event of Non-Delivery (lost in the void) or Total Structural Collapse where replacement is impossible.
- The Process: If approved, a credit will automatically be applied to your method of Capital Transfer.
- Late Refunds: If you have not received your funds, check your bank. Then check your soul. Then contact your bank again. There is often a processing time before the reality of the refund catches up to the digital record.
7. GIFTS (THE TRANSFER OF BURDEN) If the item was marked as a gift when purchased and shipped directly to you, you have received a Transfer of the Burden of Ownership. You may not return these objects for currency. You may petition for a credit only if the object is defective.
- Warning: Be forewarned: If the item was delivered to you but not marked as a “gift,” your communications revealing your dissatisfaction regarding the alleged defect will be forwarded to the giver. We view this ingratitude as petty, considering there has been no cost to you.
8. SHIPPING RETURNS (THE LOGISTICS) In the event that a physical return is authorized (however unlikely):
- You will be responsible for paying for your own Transport Costs.
- Shipping costs are non-refundable. The cost of the logistics is the price of the experience.
- If you are returning a custom or limited allocation (e.g., L’Héraut™), you must use a trackable shipping service as we cannot guarantee that we will receive your returned item, as the Void is vast.
For FURTHER ASSISTANCE contact the Tribunal at tribunal@jeanerique.com
Please ensure that any questions regarding your acquisition are submitted only when a good reason exists.